Since Cavin was only 2 months old, he’ll get up at least twice every night asking for feeding. I was exhausted on the first week so my husband and I decided to leave Cavin at baby sitter’s place during my working days. I’ll bring Cavin back home during weekends. Even though, I feel sad to part with him. I wish I could be his side everyday.

Being a working mother is not easy. Apart from concentrating on your career, you have to take care of your children too. If possible, I wish to take care of Cavin by myself, at least, after coming back from work. I guess my wish can only be granted after few months when Cavin is around 4-5 months old.

Sending him to baby sitter for the whole week is a painful decision. I had to do that as it started to affect my health and work. I always feel dizzy and headache that I nearly fainted.

Cavin, please forgive mommy. I’m not abandoning you. I’ll bring you back home during weekends.

Love you always, mom.

I suffered from regular contractions since around 2am on 7th December 2009. At 3:45am, I felt strong bowel movements that urged me to rush to toilet. Then I discovered small flow of blood coming out from my vagina, which is called “show”. Since it was in the middle of the night, I went back to bed and wait.

With stronger and more frequent contractions, my instinct told me that: “this is it!”. At 6:45am, I went to kitchen and had some breakfast. After that, another flow of the “show” came. I knew that was the time I had to admit to the hospital. After a shower, I woke up my husband and told him: “Cavin’s daddy, your son is coming!”

After the admission to the hospital, the midwife did a CT scan on me. But the result was not satisfied. The reason was Cavin’s heartbeats were  not so “active” and my contractions were not so intense to be in labour. A female doctor checked my cervix said it was only dilated to 1.2 cm, then she used her fingers to help it enlarged up to 1.5 cm. All I had to do was just wait at the Induction Room.

6 hours passed, contractions were still minor and infrequent (5-10 minutes interval). Nurses came to take my body temperature and blood pressure every few hours, midwives came to check my cervix 3 times but the progress was still poor. Around 3 pm on 8 December 2009, my cervix was only dilated up to 2 cm.

20 hours passed, my contractions became more frequent (3-4 minutes interval) and intense. I lied on my bed and suffered from contractions and lower back pain due to the contraction. I knew it was the time. Suddenly, I heard something broke in my vagina and warm fluids flew out. “My water broke!”, I told the midwife-on-duty. Without any hesitation, she asked me to move to the other room so she could check on Cavin’s heartbeat and my contractions.

Around 5:30am, the contractions were so severe that I can’t stand it anymore! I screamed at my top lungs as I felt my vagina was going to break! Sadly, my cervix was only dilated to 4 cm. It should be 10 cm so that the baby can come out from the uterus. I requested to call my husband as I need his support very much!

One and a half hours passed, it was no progress on my cervix. Another bad news came to me. Cavin’s head was pushed down to the cervix as my contractions occured. I didn’t know how to breathe and control myself not to push, so his head was claimed to become “cone-shaped”. The midwife advised me to deliver Cavin by Caesarean because my cervix (dilated to 6 cm that time) and Cavin’s position (facing the sky) was not suitable to deliver him naturally. With few hesitations, my husband encouraged me to choose Caesarean. I agreed by signing on the agreement.

8 am, my doctor, Dr. Jaspal Singh Sachdev and Dr. Ravi, the anesthetist arrived. I was rushed to the operation theatre and given a shot of anesthetic. Within a minute, I couldn’t feel my lower part of the body anymore. That was a great relieve to me from suffering the contractions.

I felt so sleepy during the operation, but I knew the crew was doing something on me. Around 10 minutes passed, I heard someone told me that Cavin’s head was already out. Dr. Ravi stood behind my head and told me he’s going to push my belly to help Cavin out. After the push, I heard that someone was washing my uterus and sucking the fluid out of it. I knew it was going to end soon.

The midwife told me Cavin was 3 kg (which I didn’t expect to be). She asked me the gender of my baby, I answered but I was so sleepy at that time. After some time, the crew moved me to my room. I slept and slept for 5 hours.

I woke up around 1 pm asking to see my newly born prince as I thought the midwife never show me his face in the operation theatre. She told me she showed me but it’s normal that I forgot as nearly 90% of mothers with Caesarean couldn’t remember that they saw their baby straight after he/she was taken out from the womb. Soon after the conversation, I slept again…

The next morning, a nurse brought Cavin to me. I looked at him and tears flew out from my eyes automatically. I was so touched as I couldn’t believe he stayed in my womb for 10 months then I brought him to this world. My husband told me he felt very touching the first time he saw Cavin when the midwife brought him out from the operation theatre and showed Cavin to him.

Now, I’m trying very hard to become a good mother. I don’t follow all the rules during this confinement period. I washed my hair the next day I was discharged from the specialist clinic. I showered 6 days after Cavin was born. I do house chores and take care of Cavin myself. I don’t eat “Ginger Wine Chicken” everyday, every meal. I take out my clothes when I feel hot or expressing milk. If my parents-in-law knew this, I’ll sure be scolded. :p

Except inadequate sleep (less than 6 hours per day) while taking care of Cavin at night, the most unpleasant experience would be engorgement of my breast. Cavin refused to suck my breast as he’s already get used to nursing using a bottle. The other reason is that my nipples are too short, I can only feed him my milk by expressing out and mixed with formula milk.

Expressing milk from breast is not easy. I found out that it’s easier to express milk by using my own hands rather than using a breast pump. Breast pump makes my nipples sore and very inefficient. Using my own hands, I can control the strength and speed during expressing. However, the milk I expressed was so little that the most I can express one time is only 10ml!

I’ll continue to express my milk as it is one of the most precious gift a mother can give to her baby.

Your baby continues to accumulate fat and get rounder. His brain and nervous system are working better every day and will continue to develop through childhood and adolescence. The placenta continues to supply him with antibodies that will help fight infection for the first six months after birth. By week 40 he is ready to be born and may weigh about 3-3.5kg and may be 19-21 inches long.

Source: htttp://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fetal-development

Since last week, I’ve been starting to experience Braxton Hicks contractions especially at night. At first, I thought it was one of the signs of labour. After a few research on the Internet, I found out that it’s just some kind of “training” before the actual contractions occur in labour.

Apart from that, I feel easier to breathe as Cavin’s head is already moved down into a position for birth. Also, his movements are not so obvious and strong as before. But the most suffering part would be extreme ache at the pubic area, I can hardly walk or move when it pains. These few signs show that my actual labour will be coming soon, perhaps in 2-3 weeks.

However, I still have one worry: Cavin’s weight. Last week Cavin’s ultrasound scan shows that his weight is approximately 2 kg only, which was a bit lighter than previous scan (2.2kg). This worries me. Luckily one very helpful and kind nurse at the clinic told me it’s okay for Cavin to be born during this few weeks, it’s just that he’ll need more care than those who achieved standard weight.

So, nothing can be done now except maintain the intake of food and nutrition.

The pasty white coating that protects his skin, called vernix, is getting thicker. His face and body is slowly becoming rounder as he packs on the pounds and stores fat all over his body. He can suck now. The crowded conditions inside my uterus may make it harder for him to give me a punch. To prepare for birth, he may descend into the head down position.

Source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fetal-development

When Cavin was in week 33, I was told by my obstetrician, Dr. Jaspal, that Cavin was underweight. He was only 1.5 kg which he should weigh around 2.2 kg at that time.  Dr. Jaspal advised me to undergo a detailed scan on Cavin to see if any abnormality of his organs.

After the scan, I was diagnosed with slight calcification of my placenta (which is quite normal in third trimester of pregnancy), low index on my Amniotic Fluid Index and perhaps some gene problems in Cavin. However, the detailed scan shows that Cavin has no problem in his organs. Dr. Jaspal suspects that lack of nutrition might be one of the reasons why Cavin was underweight. He suggested I consume two cups of maternal milk each day to provide enough nutrition for Cavin to grow.

Who ever knew this news was quite worried about me and Cavin, especially my sister-in-laws and parents-in-law. They advised me on taking Chinese traditional medicine in order to “boost” Cavin’s size. I listened, but I didn’t follow completely.

In the coming weeks after the scan, I did nothing special but continue to drink 1-2 cups of maternal milk plus soya protein powder everyday. Luckily this Sunday (8/11/09), Cavin’s weight went up to 2.2 kg. It’s such a relief to me, at least Cavin might not required to stay inside an incubator / ventilator after his birth. However, Dr. Jaspal said it’ll be safer if Cavin can weigh more than 2.5 kg before the delivery.

These few days, Cavin is having some training in my uterus as I can feel few contractions each day. He’s preparing himself to squeeze out from my uterus to experience this exciting world. I’m getting more nervous everyday as he’ll come to me anytime!

Cavin, come to mommy when you’re ready.

With all the frustrations, thought something went wrong with the Internet connection, wrong username / password entered or even WLM’s server is down. You even click on the link provided with the error message to search through Microsoft’s Knowledge Base, followed the instructions given, yet still scratching your head with the same errors.

Okay, in the end, you gave up and wanted to uninstall the software. Wait, where’s the uninstaller? Searching through the Start menu, you even went to C:\Program Files\Windows Live\Messenger to search for the uninstall.exe file. What? Cannot find it?

Here’s a trick I found from this useful blog:

How to uninstall Windows Live Messenger 2009 using RUN
To uninstall Windows Live Messenger, click START, then Run if using Windows XP [operating system]
then [type/copy] the following and press Enter: [it works 100%]
msiexec /x {0AAA9C97-74D4-47CE-B089-0B147EF3553C}

You will notice that the Windows Live will be removed from your “Start” > “All Programs” list.

Source: http://ayumilove.wordpress.com/2009/03/14/how-to-install-remove-windows-live-messenger-2009/ by ayumilove

Thanks for the tricks from this blog, finally I can get this little devil removed.

His pupils can now detect light. He continues to gain weight. The layer of soft, downy hair that has covered his skin for the past few months – also known as lanugo – starts to fall off.

Source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fetal-development

Last night rained heavily with strong thunders and lightnings. I was awake from sleeping when I heard the loud thunder, so did Cavin. He moved vigorously as he wanted to escape from my belly. I guess he was shocked too. Comforting him with my touches on belly calmed him.

Cavin, don’t be afraid. Mom and dad will always be with you. Just stay in mommy’s womb for another 8-9 weeks until you can see and feel the world yourself. Love, mom.

At first, I thought something wrong with the settings so I went to Maxis website to request for phone setting. After saving the settings that was sent by Maxis via SMS, I got the error message: “Packet Data: Connection not allowed”. Wondering what was happening, I called Maxis Hotline (123). After listening to the detailed recorded instructions, the operator brought me to something like request for phone setting. There came again another phone setting SMS…

Still wondering what was happening, I gave up calling Maxis again and then searched through Google for this error. Viola! I found this very useful blog that saved me a lot of time!

The step-by-step instructions are applicable for Nokia N95. So I’ll just list down the steps for Nokia 5800 XpressMusic:

Prerequisite: Phone settings are acquired and saved. (Follow the instruction on Maxis website to save the settings)

1. Press the Menu key.
2. Go to Settings -> Connectivity.
3. Scroll to the lowest part of the menu and select Admin. settings.
4. Select APN control.
5. The phone will now check on the SIM Card settings and found out that the Connection Restrictions are active.
6. Select Options -> Deactivate restrictions.
7. It’ll now prompt for PIN2, key in “1234“.
8. The phone will tell you that your Connection Restrictions now are inactive.
9. Restart your phone.
10. Open up a champagne and surf the Internet / send MMS messages with your phone.

I nearly lost you during the first trimester for I’m the most careless and stubborn mother. I never listen to others for not doing housework and carrying heavy things. I’m sorry.

But now, you’re lying peacefully (sometimes moving vigorously!) in my belly. I can’t assure you that I’m the best mother, but I’ll try my best to be one. I believe that you’re one of the most precious gift that was given by God. I really appreciate that.

Love,

Mum